Surviving the 2ww

This part never gets any easier!
It honestly feels like torture, that is the best way I can decribe it.
You go through every single emotion through this time.
I could go from feeling really positive, excited and happy to negative, anxious, upset and angry in a few hours.
Feeling vulnerable, because your happiness depends on what the end result will be.
IVF is so consuming, it literally controls your emotions. The medications don’t help of course, they play a big part in exaggerating the way you feel. Times where you would normally feel a little sad, you are sobbing your heart out. Or times when things wouldn’t normally annoy you are making you feel your own blood begin to boil inside your veins and a rage that you can’t seem to control.

The urge to get online and read forums on IVF is real! Yet for me, I know that this will only make me feel 10x worse. Comparing other peoples experiences and symptoms is a waste of time, because everyone is different. There are people who have had every symptom and had a negative result, and there are people who have had no symptoms and had a positive result. The best thing to do is just keep busy, live your life as you normally would and wait for test day. But it’s so hard to have that mindset at the time.
I don’t know how I coped during the 2ww. Well I suppose I didn’t really, not very well anyway. I was born an anxious Annie, so if there is a situation that I could worry about, I will. I am an expert at worrying and overthinking. So me and IVF don’t make the best pair.

I know that all I can do now is try and keep my mind occupied, and just be patient.

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